Dear Amazon Algorithms,
I know that you don’t care about my needs and just want to extract money from me on your upcoming Prime Day. So to help you make it easy to get my money next week, I have made a list of the things that I would like to buy if you offer significant discounts on them next week.
Wahoo Speed and Cadence Sensors
I’m tired of having to swap the speed sensors and cadence sensors between my road bike and my time trial bike. But I’m also too cheap to purchase a second set at full price. If you can see to it that these are discounted on Prime Day, I’d be most grateful.
SUUNTO Spartan Trainer Wrist HR
I am quite happy with my Garmin Instinct fitness watch and plan to keep it forever or at least until Garmin’s planned obsolescence of it kicks in. I’d like to purchase the SUUNTO Spartan for my significant other who has recently committed herself to getting back into top cycling shape. We’d like to be able to do a comparison of these two fine watches without spending top dollar. Can you make this happen? Please.
Zipp 302 Wheels
You probably know from analyzing all of my search history, but I do covet a nice set of Zipp 302 wheels for my bicycle. I’m not so delusional to ask that you discount Zipp 303’s or Zipp 454 NSW’s on Prime Day, but if you could see it in your algorithmic heart to discount a set of Zipp 302 wheels on Prime Day I’ll take very good care of them and never ask for anything again (or at least until next Prime Day).
Thanks for considering my Prime Day wish list.
All the best for a most profitable Prime Day,
p.s. my mom told me that you know when I’m sleeping and when I’m awake? Can you ask Alexa if that’s true?